there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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