he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
