see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
