Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
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