They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
