I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize