I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
