can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize