my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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