I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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