I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
