So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I am available for nakedness
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize