so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
