After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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