He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Holy shit dude........stairs
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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