You can't special order awesome
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
