he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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