pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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