Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
