So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
