you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
