I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
