Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize