also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
