Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
