Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
