i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
