would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize