just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
