420 ftw
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
