I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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