No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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