Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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