To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
