she was so not down for the gang bang
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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