She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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