By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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