Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
