I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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