I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
