She announced her abortion via fbk
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
