just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
