The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you inspire me to be a worse person
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
