seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
