he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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