I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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