Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
