I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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