My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
