Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
