just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
