I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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