ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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