Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
