Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
