would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize