I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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