I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
