So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
