i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just want to make out with him forever
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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