"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
