I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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