Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
