dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
