She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
