small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
