It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
