Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
