Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
