dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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