he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So many bounce houses so little time
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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