Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
