my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
...so i touched it.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
