all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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